In this five-part series, we will examine some of the many reasons why we may not allow money into our lives. In lesson #1 we begin with beliefs.
We will dive into five client experiences to show how they discovered and healed their money blocks.
A belief is a thought we keep thinking over and over again about any particular subject.
It is something we have accepted as true…. this is critical, most people are unaware of the inner rules they have set for themselves to follow.
Beliefs run our lives. We navigate this world through the perceptions and perspectives we hold with the mind. Seeing with the brain, not our eyes.
To uncover possible limiting beliefs about money; ask yourself about the current state of your financial health. It is simple and complex all at once.
Client example: Susan’s journey to cultivate abundance
Susan hoped to discover why she could not let money in. I asked her to reflect upon the following:
- Describe the CURRENT flow of money in your life
- State where your money goes when you do have it
- Share the first thought you have when someone pays you
- Explain any self-talk when paying a bill or making a purchase
- Specify how did your parents felt about money when you were 6-12 years old (most impactful feelings or memories from this time)
- Tell me about your personal relationship to your parents
Susan’s responses to the Statements
The current flow of money: Barely making it, it comes in and goes right out again, I cannot hold it or make more than the bare minimum.
I feel stressed and overwhelmed thinking about it.
It does not really feel like a flow, more of a trickle…. almost a dry well.
Where money goes: It goes right out to pay bills. I’m paying my son’s car payment because he can’t afford to. I also pay for my car, apartment, and credit cards with the rest.
When I get paid: I discovered a feeling, a very quiet soft voice that said: “it’s not enough”. A feeling of dread receiving it cause it goes to something else. I don’t get to hold it before it is gone.
The self-talk when paying: Same thought, it is not enough. How am I going to do this, how did I get here? I should be doing better than this, when will my son get it together.
Parents: My mom never touched money, dad handled it all. They never had enough and he would tell her what to do with it. She had to ask permission to get things for herself.
He would make a big deal of it and she would almost have to beg her to spend on things we needed around the house. It always felt so awkward to watch this play our every week when dad got his paycheck.
Relationship to parents: I loved my mom but I was always angry she never stood up for herself, she seemed so weak and helpless.
She never allowed herself to have things and took care of everyone else.
I loved my dad and felt closer to him, but never seemed to get his approval.
Susan’s insights of her limiting beliefs
After working with Susan through her statements she had a breakthrough moment. She realized her finances reflected her deepest desires.
Susan could not get her father’s approval and deep down she discovered she had a belief of her having money would be disapproved of by her father. She unconsciously blocked it to be closer to him.
As Susan dug in further, she realized she’d spend money right away to fulfill hidden beliefs while also pushing for control in ways her mother never could.
She paid her son’s bill out of guilt because she could not bear to have him feel the discomfort around finances that she did as a child.
Susan had guilt, shame, control, and fear weaving within her relationship with money. Money felt controlling and she was unknowingly holding resentment towards her mother.
This activated some similar patterns to both of her parents.
Susan realized the gift in her financial state, money was a teacher for her. Money could help her bring forgiveness towards her parents and build trust and confidence in herself.
Also, to help create a dialogue with her son, helping him to take responsibility and come up with a plan for his car payments.
Susan discovered hidden money blocks stemming from the beliefs she created.
They began as a child, witnessing the relationship her parents both had individually and together with money.
Once she discovered them, she felt empowered to create new intentions, boundaries, and behaviors with her finances.
Can you relate to any of Susan’s story?
Keep an eye out for Aligning with Money: Lesson Two of Five!