This is the third part of this five-part series, aligning with money. Next, we look into what alignment is and how we move from thoughts of lack to those of prosperity.
In lesson #3 we shift into consistent thoughts and words. Aligning with money is not necessarily about action though it is a piece of it.
Aligning has more to do with the consistent thoughts, actions, and words we speak ABOUT money than pure action alone.
We can be a perfect fit for a new job but out of alignment to receive it because an unconscious belief of not having enough is active. We can be so close to letting in a large sum of money, yet out of alignment due to feeling overwhelmed, unconsciously pushing an inflow of money away.
If we speak about our problems, complain, or create negative self-talk…. the outcome of our financial situation will reflect these deeper beliefs.
The truth is, most people blame outer circumstances and family dynamics instead of taking responsibility for present moment choices and words.
Client example: Annie’s pattern of sabotaging success
Annie wanted to grow her clientele and expand into a new product line within her coaching business. She was seriously talented and her current clients and students loved her work!
Annie struggled with her value and charging accordingly to her talent, skill, and experience. She was well under industry standard and overgiving in many forms.
She set goals and then would avoid them, procrastinating on things that would move her business forward. She feared changing her prices and delayed creating packages for potential clients who wanted to start working with her. She wanted to bring in more clients for more money but was already limited in how much time she had left to herself.
I asked her to reflect upon the following:
- Describe the CURRENT feelings you have about the money coming in
- State how you feel asking clients to pay you for your services
- Share the first thought you have when you think about money
- Explain any self-talk you have about money
- Specify how did your parents felt about money when you were 6-12 years old (most impactful feelings or memories from this time)
- Tell me about your personal relationship with your parents
Annie’s responses to the Statements
The current feeling about money: I feel so much fear in my stomach every time I check my account and think about my bills. It never seems to be enough.
Asking for the money: I HATE having to ask them to pay, especially for services I have already provided for them. It feels terrible and I feel like they think it is all I think about when I ask them to pay their balance. I get resentful because I am not even charging them accordingly!
My first thoughts about it: My first thought is, I feel like I am terrible about this and should not have a business.
The self-talk about money: I should get a job, go back to school, or find another source of income. I should not feel this way.
Parents: I never knew my father, and my mom worked two jobs, I spent a lot of time with my grandmother. I would help her clip coupons and go to the market with her. She was very particular about what we could and could not buy. She made lots of things for us and tried hard not to use much money.
Relationship to parents: I always felt embarrassed about my grandmother’s attitude with money, never really thought about it though until now. She would give me a really disapproving look if I asked for something at the store, or wanted to buy something that was not on her list. She said it was wise to only get what we needed and not a single thing more.
Annie’s insights of his limiting beliefs
While working with Annie, she broke down in tears realizing she feared the feeling of disappointment, the same way she felt with her grandmother when she asked for something. She feared her clients would also be disappointed in her.
This caused Annie to overgive and only ask for the bare minimum, the same behavior that was taught to her as a child. The fear she felt was her body’s way of alerting her that she was going beyond a subconscious comfort zone.
Annie decided to forgive her grandmother, realizing it was just her own beliefs she was teaching and living from. Annie also decided it was time she gave the little girl within her permission to go beyond the conditioning of her childhood.
Annie made a commitment to raising her rates and releasing the clients who drained her energy and took advantage of her time. She let herself feel the fear instead of avoiding it by eating or smoking. As she felt it, she discovered confidence began to grow within her.
After three months, Annie more than doubled her income, and had more free time! She had two new clients come in out of nowhere and BOTH of them commented on how inexpensive she was for the value she was providing them after their first coaching session. This was AFTER the rate increase!
Annie still has moments when her childhood patterns kick in, and she uses the tools I provided her with to face the fear, release it, and reprogram the mind and nervous system to adjust. Today Annie feels empowered to make changes and continues to grow at a comfortable pace for her.
Can you relate to any of Annie’s story?
Keep an eye out for Aligning with Money: Lesson Four of Five!