Let’s get candid about spending money….
I used to only buy things that were basic, bare minimum, and reasonable.
My socks had holes in them, guaranteed a toe was sticking out somewhere. I’d pay for everything else before taking care of my self, my needs, or my desires.
I’m not just taking about necessities like bills, family responsibilities or living expenses.
I’d splurge on other people- encouraging them to get the thing that was calling them to it, while I denied myself purchases that were luxurious, fun, joyful, or anything that felt too extravagant.
That’s the thing right there- anything that “felt” too extravagant often wasn’t, it was just too much for my nervous system with the unconscious beliefs about value, deserving, and desires.
This is why a “large sum” is about the observer, what is extravagant to one is the norm for another and neither opinion is right or wrong.
I grew up feeling like wanting more was wrong, and had many moment of being shamed for asking for what I wanted.
Don’t get me wrong- I didn’t grow up in poverty and was still very privileged in many ways.
Yet many purchases for me were first approved of by the buyer- clothes, my hair style, etc.
This created a pattern of witnessing joy from outside of my own experience- those of us whom are highly emphatic and have yet to develop a sense of self understand this phenomenon.
Money is a mirror- what you see, receive, allow, share, give, accept, save, and spend is completely aligned with your deepest beliefs of self.
Personas hide- as any good mask can do, concealing the real feelings and beliefs until and activation occurs to draw it upward from the depths. This is why personalities do not solely dictate patterns, cycles, and deep beliefs around money but they contribute to them.
Money is a mirror- and how we feel beneath the surface will reflect back in the breath, body, and bank account